And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
