Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
