the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
only if we run a train.
done.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
