I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize