this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
