Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Randomize
