im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
