I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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