I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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