margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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