you didnt know i had herpes?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
