Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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