In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
