do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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