watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
