my mouth tastes like poor choices
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
