So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
do nipples grow back?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
