yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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