We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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