My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
