I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Boobs are out for the taking
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
