i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
