I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
