i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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