I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
