they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
