So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
foreskin is a definite game changer
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
