xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
