Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
