i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
