Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
