She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
