I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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