They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
These tits shall not be calmed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
