ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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