Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
