after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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