I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
