Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
