I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
