remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
