What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
