if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize