69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize