I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
