Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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