Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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