The maid of honor just puked.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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