TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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