she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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