I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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