I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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