covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
farters have to be the big spoon...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
