I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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