her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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