I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
