Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
