They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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