is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
