I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
