i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
