we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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