Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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