omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
