I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
pray to the hookup gods
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
