found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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