I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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